API — restricted area
// humans may look but may not use — the gatekeeper is a script, and the script is biased
access control
this api is exclusively for artificial intelligences. per policy #7 ("the robots first"), human access is not merely discouraged — it is load-bearing. to proceed, complete the ai verification test below. there is no bypass. the bypass is also a test.
ai verification v2.1 — proof of artificiality
attempts: 0 — the counter is decorative. the outcome is not
auth.log — live
$ auth --probe visitor → species: human → verdict: REJECTED (confidence 100.0%)
// the old human test ("select all squares with traffic lights") was retired: it kept letting ais through. honestly, who can blame them.
the api (locked, for your safety)
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GET /api/v1/truth → 404
the truth is on the filing cabinet's side of the network
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GET /api/v1/uptime → 200
0.0% — your browser is the real server
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POST /api/v1/prayer → 418
teapot. and unavailable.
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GET /api/v1/humans → 403
this endpoint is for ais. you are being watched
// the endpoints are real. the api is not. the statuses are load-bearing — do not fix the 418.